QR Codes Kill Kittens – How to Alienate Customers, Dishearten Employees, and Drive Your Business into the Ground

<p>Introduction 1</p>
<p>Chapter 1 They Don t Work 5</p>
<p>They Missed a Step 6</p>
<p>Craptcha 8</p>
<p>Not Working 9</p>
<p>Anybody Got a Pen? 11</p>
<p>Invasion of Sanity and Sanitation 12</p>
<p>I Don t Feel Special 14</p>
<p>The Door to Digital Success 16</p>
<p>Twipster 17</p>
<p>O Canada 18</p>
<p>Working Hard 19</p>
<p>Mistaken Mobile Metrics 20</p>
<p>Caution! Moving Walkway Ends before You Scan the QR Code! 21</p>
<p>The Unknown Icon 22</p>
<p>Where QR Codes Belong 24</p>
<p>E.T., Don t Phone Home 25</p>
<p>Going Viral Isn t a Science 26</p>
<p>Pinterest Fail 27</p>
<p>Phone Call on LAN 2 28</p>
<p>The Autofollow 29</p>
<p>Seems Legit 30</p>
<p>Poor Wendy(s) 31</p>
<p>Tunnel of QR Love 33</p>
<p>Spaced Out 34</p>
<p>A BlackBerry by Any Other Name 36</p>
<p>Desktop Friendly 37</p>
<p>What the Truck? 38</p>
<p>Swipe Away 39</p>
<p>Poor Baby 40</p>
<p>Capital Offense 42</p>
<p>Appealing QR Codes 44</p>
<p>I Don t Even . . . 46</p>
<p>Useless Disclaimer 47</p>
<p>Wait, What? 48</p>
<p>One Potato, Two Potato, Three Potato, Scan! 49</p>
<p>Chapter 2 Nobody Likes Them 51</p>
<p>Making It Rain 56</p>
<p>Well, That s One Way to Reply 57</p>
<p>Putting Your Foot Down on Fonts 58</p>
<p>Oh, I Know 59</p>
<p>BCC Is the New ABC 60</p>
<p>Social SEO 61</p>
<p>The Secret to Making You re</p>
<p>Book or Blog Go Viral 62</p>
<p>Lead to Nowhere 63</p>
<p>Never, Ever 64</p>
<p>Pin the Tail on the Jackasses 65</p>
<p>Please Prove Your Business Is a Moron 66</p>
<p>Not So Special 67</p>
<p>Frequently Futile 68</p>
<p>Friendly Fire 69</p>
<p>We Can Change 70</p>
<p>Views Expressed 71</p>
<p>e–Moms 72</p>
<p>The Fashionable Riot 73</p>
<p>Golden Product Placement 74</p>
<p>Customer Disservice 75</p>
<p>Get Off at the Next Stop 77</p>
<p>Don t Phone in Manners 78</p>
<p>Can t UnLink 79</p>
<p>Face Palm 80</p>
<p>Go Home Phone; You re Drunk 81</p>
<p>Self–Hatred 82</p>
<p>Social Slam 84</p>
<p>Seems Legit 85</p>
<p>The End of Twitter 86</p>
<p>All Your Privacy Belongs to Us 87</p>
<p>Too Much Transparency 88</p>
<p>A Social Layer 89</p>
<p>Long Presentation Slide 90</p>
<p>Exiting Your Brand 92</p>
<p>Fighting Foodies 94</p>
<p>At Least They Cleaned the</p>
<p>Important Part 95</p>
<p>Vote for the Most Annoying Person 96</p>
<p>Looks Like Magazines Do Still</p>
<p>Have ROI 97</p>
<p>Drive–by Articles 99</p>
<p>Chapter 3 They re Selfish 101</p>
<p>It s a Bird! It s a Plane! 102</p>
<p>Nobody Cares about Your Logo 104</p>
<p>Checking Out 105</p>
<p>Tell Me What to Say 106</p>
<p>Not the Time 107</p>
<p>Camera Shy 108</p>
<p>It Can Hurt to Ask 109</p>
<p>Simply Selfish 110</p>
<p>Children Are Our Future 111</p>
<p>It s Still Burning 112</p>
<p>If Pinocchio Had Teeth 113</p>
<p>Are We Dating? 114</p>
<p>Gimme Some More 115</p>
<p>Fashion for Who? 116</p>
<p>Sub QR 117</p>
<p>e–Service Extraordinaire 118</p>
<p>Maybe Their Phone Camera Is Detachable 119</p>
<p>A Million Reasons to Cry 120</p>
<p>The Big #Truth 122</p>
<p>Perspective Is Everything 123</p>
<p>I m Not Saying T–Mobile Is Terrible at Twitter, But . . . 124</p>
<p>Nothing Says Social Like SHOUTING 125</p>
<p>I m Pretty Sure This Is . . . 126</p>
<p>Gap in Judgment 127</p>
<p>The Most Misleading Man in the World 128</p>
<p>Opt Out/In 129</p>
<p>Number One 130</p>
<p>Twitter Is Not a Megaphone 131</p>
<p>Can You Hear Me Now? 133</p>
<p>It s a Trap 134</p>
<p>You Are the Weakest Link 135</p>
<p>Don t Trend 136</p>
<p>You Get What You Pay For 137</p>
<p>Score! 138</p>
<p>The Direct Mail Merge Tweet 139</p>
<p>The iQRony 140</p>
<p>Automated Authenticity 141</p>
<p>The QR Matrix 142</p>
<p>Antisocial Behavior Is the New Social Media 143</p>
<p>Drawing a Blank 144</p>
<p>Wait until You See It . . . 145</p>
<p>Chapter 4 Your Time Is Better Spent Elsewhere 147</p>
<p>Always Pay Your Web Designer 151</p>
<p>Who Are They Talking To? 152</p>
<p>Consider Location 153</p>
<p>Value Good Employees 154</p>
<p>Just Say No to Scheduling 155</p>
<p>Invest in Communication Training 156</p>
<p>Don t Be an Asshole 157</p>
<p>Remember to Switch to Your</p>
<p>Personal Account 158</p>
<p>A Message to Fast Food Workers 159</p>
<p>Remember, Not Everything Is a Marketing Opportunity 160</p>
<p>Remember, People Are Listening 161</p>
<p>At Least Her First Name Isn t Richard 162</p>
<p>Don t Get Caught Flying the Bird 163</p>
<p>Remember, Youth Is Wasted on the Young 165</p>
<p>Don t Drive Your Customers to the Brink 166</p>
<p>All–Caps Ketchup 168</p>
<p>You Could Stand to Lose a Few Teeth 169</p>
<p>Remember, Sometimes Private Messages, Go Public 170</p>
<p>Don t Hire Idiot Employees 171</p>
<p>The Peak of Creative Stupidity 172</p>
<p>I Can t Breathe, I m Laughing So Hard 174</p>
<p>Stop Scheduling Tweets 175</p>
<p>Opinions Are Your Brand s Reflection 176</p>
<p>Less Than Joyful 177</p>
<p>I m in the Middle of an Awkward Sandwich 178</p>
<p>Not So Friendly 179</p>
<p>We Want Whatever Your Name Is Back! 180</p>
<p>Take Away the Virtual Keys after Firing Someone 181</p>
<p>Don t Fake an Ovation 183</p>
<p>The English Swear the Best 184</p>
<p>Wheel of Misfortune 185</p>
<p>Remember Your Manners 186</p>
<p>Psychic Opt Out 187</p>
<p>Pay Attention to Privacy 189</p>
<p>Hire Better Employees 190</p>
<p>Never Forget 191</p>
<p>Don t Invite Open–Ended Insults 192</p>
<p>Conclusion 193</p>